The sadness we experience when ending a relationship is a legitimate form of grief. Even if we are the ones to initiate the break-up, relationship grief counseling in San Diego helps people to move on from loss in all its forms.

You fought to hold on to the relationship to the point of being all-consumed. You don’t want to believe it’s actually ending. You can’t believe it. Even if the relationship was awful, even unbearable at times, the idea of living without it is unacceptable. Still, it’s becoming clear that the two of you aren’t going to make it. You are finally starting to compute that it’s over. You’ve gone from, “Don’t leave!” to “Okay, I give up.”

 

But you still feel anything but okay. The moment you get off the phone with your ex, or the texting finally stops, or you leave each other’s space, you experience withdrawal, and you are hit relentlessly by the reality of the loss. It can be a brutal process, and it can take a long time until you feel deserving of investing in your own independent, reshaped life path.

 

Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D.

Processing Grief and Loss

When we split from those who we love or once loved, we don’t just mourn the loss of the relationship, we also mourn the loss of the future we thought we were going to have.

Losing a relationship can also make us feel like we will never find love again, and understanding what we are going through and finding the right support is the first step towards acceptance and moving on.

The Five Stages of Grief

Dr. Kubler-Ross’ book ‘On Death and Dying’ the five stages of grief we encounter when we lose a loved one are outlined. We experience the same cycles whether we lose them to death or a break-up, and a grief coach is a source of support that guides you through each stage of the process.

Denial

Most of us are familiar with the denial phase. It is the stage of the break up when we cling on to hope that the break up is temporary and everything will go back to how it was before.

Anger

This stage is the emotional manifestation of the pain we are feeling. We tend to lash out either at our ex or anyone involved in the break-up.

Bargaining

Bargaining is the belief in ‘magic words’ that can get our ex back or the right person to intervene on our behalf.

Depression

The depression phase of the cycle is usually triggered when we finally realize our ex is not coming back, no matter what we do.

Acceptance

Acceptance is when we come to terms with the break-up and begin to move on.

Grief and Loss Support

Acceptance doesn’t strike suddenly like lightning; it is a progressive phase that is often intermittent and can be briefly interrupted as we relapse back into the other phases. This is why accessing grief and loss support is beneficial to the healing process and can help you move on more quickly.

Bereavement Counselling in San Diego

The loss of a relationship is a genuine bereavement, and a grief coach can help us cope with the pain of the break-up and support us to maintain acceptance more steadily.

If you are looking for grief counseling in San Diego, I can help you find peace within yourself and normalize the cycles of grief as you move through them.

Let’s talk…

If you are experiencing the symptoms of grief and would like to explore ways to get past the pain and reclaim your life, I invite you to book a free discovery session with me: Book with Karen

Karen Rolls, Registered Nurse, Certified Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist